9.25.2014

I Can Wait...

Four months after my sweet baby boy was born, I have slowly began to realize something- I can wait. I have made the executive decision to stop saying "I can't wait!"
There have been so many times in my life where I have found myself saying "I can't wait until {insert something big here}!" Well, now I know, yes, yes I can wait. If I stop saying "I can't wait!" maybe time will slow down a little bit and those {inserted big moments} will stop flying by so quickly. 
When I was an awkward middle schooler I would always say, "I can't wait until high school!" High school has come and gone and now that I've been out of high school for (gasp) 11 years, I want to cry. High school was great, but so was that moment in my life when I said "I can't wait for high school!" I just couldn't see it because I had a serious case of 'the grass is greener…' You know how that goes. 
When I was pregnant I said, "I can't wait until I get to meet this baby!" It was true I was excited to meet the baby, but I could wait. I needed to stop looking into the future so much and just enjoy that moment. Enjoy that time when hubs and I were still just the two of us with a family of three on the horizon. I should have just enjoyed those sweet movements of my baby in utero. Why? Because now he's here, and while I love every single second I have with him, I miss those days before he was born. Just like another mom said at our mommy/baby music class yesterday about another baby in the group, "I can't wait until Johnny can sit like that!" No, mama you can wait. Because before you know it he will be sitting, then rolling, then crawling, then walking, then driving, then graduating, and you will yearn for those moments when he was three months old again and loved being held and snuggled by you. 
Currently my hubs and I are dealing with a 20 week old baby who does not refuses to sleep at night. Naps during the day are golden. Unswaddled, asleep on his own, in his crib. Night time rolls around and you would think his crib was made of spikes that hurt his little body. Arms and legs flying, screaming, and well, not sleeping. Where does he fall asleep in the blink of an eye? In my arms. Immediately. So while I fight the demons that tell me my baby will never have a bedtime routine and will need to sleep in my arms until he's 30, I am going to enjoy this time with my baby. With my husband. This precious time in my life. 
Because life happens fast, and I can wait. 
Few days old 
19 weeks old

Yes. I can wait.