Cancer Has 'Good Days'

I'm posting a picture I have not shared with anyone but my husband, dad, and sisters. This is my mom, surrounded by her daughters. Sick with cancer, but a gentle smile on her face. 

When I think back on why I never shared it, I realize it's the social media society that we live in today. One that covers up 'real life' with filters and fancy #hashtags. This picture has no filter. It's raw. It's a woman. A mom. Battling cancer. No fancy hashtag here. If I were to slap a hashtag on it, I guess I would go with #lungcancer. But I'd also make sure to include #goodday #mother #wife #grandma #friend #love #fighter. And on that day, my mom, sisters, and I were smiling, laughing and genuinely having a good day. It's what you cannot see in this picture that made it such a good day. Here's it is.

My mom was not doing well prior to this day. Doctor's and oncologists had given her a dim perspective on her cancer's progression and we were basically told to prepare ourselves for our mom's 'final days.' Our dad had called us with this news on a cold fall day in early November. I made the drive to Michigan, met up with my sisters, and we made the drive 'home' that night. They let us visit her late that night, but she was tired, we were tired, so we left and came back bright and early the next morning. We had laughs with mom, told her our crazy stories of pooling all our Speedy Rewards together to get cappuccinos on the way to the hospital that morning, and we shed a few tears. I don't think prior to this day my sisters and I discussed mom not being around anymore. We literally lived in the moment. Mom was requesting some comfy pants to wear in the hospital, so one of my sisters and I drove to the nearby K-Mart (yes, they still have those in our hometown) to find mom some pajama or yoga-type 'comfy' pants. While on this outting, my phone rang. It was my mom. It was hard to understand her. Her voice was dry from the oxygen she had been receiving. She said 'come back, you have to come.' My heart froze. I just kept saying 'why mom? why?' My tension eased a bit when I heard my older sister in the background laughing, along with a melody of other laughs. We found the pants and trekked back to the hospital. When we rounded the corner to my mom's room, it wasn't fear I felt anymore. It was bliss. It was happiness. My mom was smiling. She was laughing. She was posing with her hands on her seated hips for pictures. 

My mom had a roommate, also battling cancer, who she was very fond of. This roommate had an incredible set of friends who were making sure their friend was happy in her fight against cancer. They came into my moms room that day to take pictures of their friend to document her life and battle with cancer. They brought wigs, hats, dresses, a Santa suit, purses, and jewelry. My mom was having a ball. In this picture you can see her wig, big floppy hat, and a fancy dress adorning her frail, sick body. 

But along with all these accessories, you can she her living, and smiling with three people who loved her more than words can say. We were fortunate that these were not her 'final days.' She lived on, through Christmas of that year. We had plenty more smiles with her, plenty more laughs, and plenty more tears about losing mom behind closed doors.  We tried to keep things upbeat. That's how my family copes - with jokes and laughter. 

My mom lost her battle with lung cancer, at home, on December 31st, 2011. We were all there and I will never forget that moment. Not a day goes by where I do not think of my mom, want to call my mom, or be angry at the disease that took her life. I am a mom now - a mom learning to be a mom without a mom. It's the hardest thing I have ever done. But my mom sure gave me a genuine set of skills before I became a mom - and she's here with us. She's a beautiful monarch butterfly in the Peter Rabbit book my son and I read before every nap. We say goodnight to her along with Peter and Mr. McGregor. 

November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month 

Pumpkin Oat Bran Muffins

I had been looking to make muffins for a couple of days, but Alec had his own plans and never let me. Yesterday he took an awesome nap, so I was able to finally get them made.

 I could not find a recipe for exactly what I was envisioning, so I threw together some ingredients and I ended up with these warm, healthy(ish), and delicious muffins. They are delicious right out of the oven, or even warmed up the next day. Just thought I'd share the recipe in case anyone else wanted to give it a whirl. These muffins are dairy free, soy free, and oil free (can make gluten free if you substitute whole wheat flour with coconut flour) - just a heads up!

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line muffin tin or spray with cooking spray (I used liners because I was trying to avoid oils and dairy). 

1-1/2 cups of oat bran 

1/2 cup of whole wheat flour

1/2 cup packed light brown sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice

Combine these ingredients in a medium sized bowl. Set aside. 

2 egg whites

1 cup pumpkin

1/2 cup of rice milk

2 tablespoons of unsweetened apple sauce

Whisk these ingredients in a small bowl. Once well mixed, stir into the dry ingredients. Once all ingredients were well combined, I added about 1/2 cup of organic dried currants. 

Fill muffin tins, and bake at 20(ish) minutes. 

This exact recipe made 12 regular sized muffins.

5 Things

Each time I venture out of the house with Alec I am reminded of some things that I absolutely adore now that I am a mom. All of these things I did not even realize existed until I had a baby. I tip my hat to the creator of these things as you have made my life a gazillion times easier; and I'm sure you've made the lives of other mama's easier as well.

1. Handicap doors with the push button! I know these are doors that are specially placed for those with disabilities. I am not trying to abuse them, but when I am lugging my stroller, carseat, and fifty pound diaper bag into a store, I really, really, REALLY appreciate these silver plates that magically open the doors as if God himself were doing it. 

2. Drive-thru coffee shops. Ok, so I live in a city where these *barely* exist (at least that I know of), but a drive-thru Starbucks opened dangerously close to my apartment. Pair that drive-thru with the Gold card, and it's a recipe for financial disaster. Now, if only they would add rice milk as an option…

3. Parking validation. Each Wednesday my babe and I race to music class and just make in on time before Miss Kim closes the door. The awesome venue we take this class at has two parking options (remember we live in a city, parking lots just do not happen). You can either leave your car with the valet people for free a big tip and let them do donuts with your new SUV, or you can park in a not so crowded parking garage for FREE!!! We have to get there a little early as this involves several floors to potentially drive up, elevators, and a (sometimes sweaty) trek down the block. But after music class the ladies at the front desk give us a chaser ticket and parking is free. FREE! I save $14 every single week- did you read that, hubby?!

Alec watching Miss Kim at music class at Bubbles Academy. He loves this class, and those maracas - we'll talk later about my intense germaphobic fear of his love of these maracas. 

4. Baby friendly places. When I say baby friendly, I mean places like a park, or again, my favorite place right now, Bubbles Academy, where we take our beloved music class. I don't care if somewhere has a changing table or high chairs (yet), but as long as there is a place tucked away where no one cares if I nurse my son, I am a happy camper. He's eaten in the car {a lot}, but it's nice to be somewhere where no one cares if you nurse your baby, because, well the baby has gotta eat (and he doesn't care where we are)!

5. The BabyShusher. Yes, the BabyShusher. It does exactly what you're thinking. It says 'shhh. shhhhhh.' Call me lazy, call me crazy. I call the people who made this ingenious. I have to admit, hubby and I saw this when I was pregnant at Right Start and laughed at it. We can say 'shhh' we don't need to buy a device to do it for us. Fast forward 6 months and we made our first road trip to Michigan where baby started crying and we took turns 'shhh-ing' over our shoulders (for hours). When we got back to Chicago, I made an emergency run to Right Start and paid the thirty some odd dollars for this device. I only use it in the carseat, but when we need it, it works. You can go get yours here and then thank me later. 

I Can Wait...

Four months after my sweet baby boy was born, I have slowly began to realize something- I can wait. I have made the executive decision to stop saying "I can't wait!"

There have been so many times in my life where I have found myself saying "I can't wait until {insert something big here}!" Well, now I know, yes, yes I can wait. If I stop saying "I can't wait!" maybe time will slow down a little bit and those {inserted big moments} will stop flying by so quickly. 

When I was an awkward middle schooler I would always say, "I can't wait until high school!" High school has come and gone and now that I've been out of high school for (gasp) 11 years, I want to cry. High school was great, but so was that moment in my life when I said "I can't wait for high school!" I just couldn't see it because I had a serious case of 'the grass is greener…' You know how that goes. 

When I was pregnant I said, "I can't wait until I get to meet this baby!" It was true I was excited to meet the baby, but I could wait. I needed to stop looking into the future so much and just enjoy that moment. Enjoy that time when hubs and I were still just the two of us with a family of three on the horizon. I should have just enjoyed those sweet movements of my baby in utero. Why? Because now he's here, and while I love every single second I have with him, I miss those days before he was born. Just like another mom said at our mommy/baby music class yesterday about another baby in the group, "I can't wait until Johnny can sit like that!" No, mama you can wait. Because before you know it he will be sitting, then rolling, then crawling, then walking, then driving, then graduating, and you will yearn for those moments when he was three months old again and loved being held and snuggled by you. 

Currently my hubs and I are dealing with a 20 week old baby who does not refuses to sleep at night. Naps during the day are golden. Unswaddled, asleep on his own, in his crib. Night time rolls around and you would think his crib was made of spikes that hurt his little body. Arms and legs flying, screaming, and well, not sleeping. Where does he fall asleep in the blink of an eye? In my arms. Immediately. So while I fight the demons that tell me my baby will never have a bedtime routine and will need to sleep in my arms until he's 30, I am going to enjoy this time with my baby. With my husband. This precious time in my life. 

Because life happens fast, and I can wait. 

Few days old 

19 weeks old

Yes. I can wait. 

Baby!

Life sure has changed for us here... 

We welcomed our baby boy into the world on May 8, 2014. It is such a new and fabulous adjustment for us, but we wouldn't change a thing! He is already 5 weeks old, and now that I feel like I have more of a hang of things I am going to keep blogging.

 I have some friends that are going to have babies very soon and, for them, I am going to post about my favorite baby items that have helped us out this past month. Then, I found this awesome new mom challenge that I can going to participate in. I am going to use my blog to document my hopeful survival of this challenge! 

Meet Alec Timothy

Drop Everything and... Travel!

This post is happening because usually this time of year we are blissfully planning a trip overseas to some new-to-us location. We are using Trip Advisor to help us find non-sketchy places to stay, fun places to explore, and places to find the best (and worst for you) desserts local cuisine known to man. This year, we are not blissfully planning an actual trip, but we are planning for the adventure of our lives. We are planning for our first-born child to arrive in somewhere near 4 weeks!

While the unknowns with having a baby and traveling to a foreign country are seemingly familiar, the anxiety and excitement factor are much higher when planning for a new baby.

We are aware that having a baby does not mean we will never travel again, but it is bittersweet that we are hanging up our traveling hats and tucking our suitcases away for a little while. But all of this has had me thinking for a few weeks that getting out and booking a trip to foreign locations was one of the best things we have ever done. In our entire lives. Period.

My first trip outside of the US, Mexico, and Canada was to Spain. Looking back, it was so random. Most people go to some well-known city like London or Paris for their first trip to Europe. Not I- nope I hit the ground running with my hubby and in-laws (cousins and all) in a random country and city after city after city. We arrived in Madrid and I felt like I was already in over my head. I didn’t speak Spanish- what the h*ll was I thinking?! Turns out it was fine, and amazing, and I absolutely LOVED Spain. We went to Madrid, Segovia, Granada, Seville, Barcelona, and so many places in between. We ate SO much ham we thought we would never touch it again, and when we finally found a chicken based food (donor kabobs) you would have thought we struck gold! We got in trouble with our tour company for drinking more than our share of wine one night, and we got completely and utterly lost in a walled city when I was in charge of the map.

Turns out, traveling is much like the If You Give a Mouse a Cookie series… if you let an Abby travel, she is going to want to do it again and again. So we weren’t home but 2 days and I was already planning my next get away. So we sat down and booked a trip (just hubby and I) to London, Paris, and Amsterdam the spring of the following year. It started by me saying:

“Paris, I have to go to Paris! I want to eat a baguette under the Eiffel Tower, drink wine outside, wander through the Louvre, people watch, and eat the best macrons possible!”

But I also had to go to London. Everyone talked about London- and it’s British. I had to hear the British accent in it’s homeland. Then hubby chimed in and had to go to Amsterdam because he had a lay over there awhile ago and thought the city looked awesome from above with all of it’s canals and such. Great! Let’s go! I like water and boats, plus tulips come from Holland. I was sold.

So spring arrived and off we went. London. OH. MY. GOSH. To this day I cannot get enough of London. If it so much as resembles the British flag I own it. I want need to go back. I dream of London, and I’ve asked my husband repeatedly if he would ask his company to transfer him to their London office- to no avail. Amsterdam was equally amazing. No, we did not go enjoy their ‘coffee shops’ but we had a pretty awesome time. We got upgraded in our already fabulous hotel, and we almost never left. Free booze in the lobby! Free espresso in the room! Free food at breakfast! We were scavengers and are not afraid to admit it. We wandered through the Red Light District and loved it. We got the munchies without even going to the ‘coffee shops’ and ordered fries in a cone with mayo and ketchup. You just have to… when in Amsterdam. We had the most delicious and decadent treat in a local outdoor market- a warm, gooey stroopwafle. If you can get your hands on one, do it- immediately!

And then we have Ireland. We just went to Ireland last summer (2013) and spent two amazing weeks traveling the entire country. This trip was enjoyed with my in-laws and my husband. It was just a wonderful trip. I have so many memories that will last a lifetime and I would never trade those memories for anything. We drove on the wrong side of the road, five of us were crammed in a small car (van we requested wasn’t available), and we had more luggage than anyone could really need for a two week trip. We laughed over a pint (or 2, 3, 4, or 5) of Guinness and Smithwick’s. I am so thankful for my family and travel.

Long story short, just travel. Get out and do it. No matter your age or your financial status, just book a trip and go. Think of it not only as an investment in your time, but think of it as an investment in your life. Get out with the ones you love and see places you have only dreamed of.

Life is short – grab on and embrace it while you can!

Under Construction

As you can tell- crazy, beautiful life is undergoing a makeover! Check back by the end of the week to see it all come together and for an exciting new blog post!


If you like love what you see, head over to Bella Lulu Ink and give Chelsea some love! 

Lovely Products

There are a few products that I have really enjoyed over the past few weeks, and I just thought I would share them with whoever wanted to know! Maybe you'll find you enjoy some of these things as well...

It's Potent! is an eye cream from Benefit that I have been enjoying for a few months now. At first I did not notice any difference, but now I am noticing that under my eyes have been brighter lately from using this. And aside from that, it just feels good to put on after washing my face each night. 

Triple performing facial emulsion is my absolute FAVORITE facial moisturizer! It has SPF 15 in it so every single day I have SPF on when I walk out the door. It feels and smells amazing. 

total moisture facial cream - this little gem I just purchased on Friday night. I love it so far. I was looking for something that would be really moisturizing for nighttime. I did not want to waste my facial emulsion with SPF in it for bedtime, so when I went to get my brows done on Friday I found this and purchased it. So far, so good. It feels really nice and not thick and heavy. Plus, I've loved all my Benefit moisturizing products so I am not surprised I like this as well. 

365 Organic White Cheddar Popcorn is one of my new favorite snacks. You can purchase it at Whole Foods for only $1.99. I call that a complete win! And when you're pregnant and craving popcorn with raspberries nearly nightly, different varieties are fun. However, after my popcorn and raspberries snack the other night, I realized the cheddar on the popcorn tastes funny with the berries, so it's just a yummy snack. I keep the regular popcorn for raspberry and popcorn night. 

Noodle & Boo Super Soft Lotion that's exactly what it is. Super soft and it smells so, so good. Ok, I admit this is for babies. BUT- I love it. I used it when we were registering for our baby a few weeks ago and then they gave me a sample and I've already used it. I added it to our registry for the baby, but I am going to need to buy a bottle for myself soon. It feels so nice and clean on your hands. Perfect for winter!

Favorite Navy Bundlers this one might seem odd. The baby is not due for another couple months, but I purchased these bundlers a week or so ago and am already completely in love. They are so soft and very well made. I cannot wait to wrap our new baby boy in these when he comes home :) 

Orange La Croix is probably my favorite beverage right now (and always has been) aside from still water. Obviously I would rather indulge in some nice wine or a mixed drink, but while I'm pregnant, this is my go-to. I can drink it at work or at home and it is a treat either way. The bubbles make it feel fancy and refreshing. 

Pregnancy Favorites... so far!

At almost 22 weeks, I have definitely developed a few favorite products that have made my pregnancy either easier and/or more enjoyable. 

This post is for my girlfriends who are not currently pregnant. I want to get this down in writing for you now so I can remember when you ask me or you can take note now. 

1. My Bump Nest pillow. It may have been pricier than I wanted, but it has been worth every penny. It is like a giant snake candy cane residing in your bed. This was purchased pretty early on in my pregnancy, before sleeping was even a problem. But as I grow, I love it more. It positions me and I can shape it into any form I want/need for a good night's rest. 

2. Starbucks/Caribou Tumbler. I drink water constantly- other than orange juice, it is the only thing I really enjoy drinking. And, as a new mommy-to-be, you need a lot of water. So, having these tumblers, with a straw, I drink so much water on a daily basis. I have a fun Starbucks and Caribou tumbler- both make drinking water more fun!

3. Two words: Gap leggings - ok three words, Gap maternity leggings. These things are amazing. So SOFT! I had a hard time with anything that was not leggings for a very long time. I recently (um, today) graduated into big girl pants. I look like an actual working professional again and that was only possible thanks to number 4 on my pregnancy favorite list! 

4. The Bellaband. Funny story actually- I purchased this at Gap weeks ago and never used it, so hubby pulled out the receipt because I wanted to return it. However, I got a super cute new shirt from Target's Liz Lange maternity collection not long ago and wanted to wear it to work. It totally needed black pants to go with it, and I do not have any that fit right now. So this was sitting in what will be baby's bedroom and I decided to give it a try this morning. AMAZING!!!! Where has it been my whole pregnancy. Get this ladies- you do not even have to be able to come close to buttoning or zipping your pre-pregnancy pants. This is made to cover all that up- and it does. And it stays there- ALL DAY LONG. Get one- even if it is just for a big dinner you're about to enjoy. You'll thank me :) 

5. Pizza. Frozen, gourmet, thin, thick... I don't care. I just want PIZZA! I guess you could call this a craving, but I've always loved pizza. But it has been much stronger since being pregnant. My current favorite- Blaze Pizza. I blame this obsession on my mother and father in law. They introduced hubby and I and there is NO GOING BACK! Go try it. Especially if you crave pizza while pregnant. 

6. My husband. I must admit that I have not been as crazy as I heard pregnant women can be, but I have sure had my moments of crazy freak outs and moments where I am slightly over the top about something. Hubby has been completely and utterly amazing through the entire process. He has come to doctor appointments, brought me food, rubbed my shoulders, cleaned our home, and strolled through Pottery Barn kids more than once. I'm a lucky lady and I never take that for granted!

Observations on the CTA

I’m normally a drive-one-mile-to-work kind of girl, and depending on traffic in this city, it can sometimes take me less than 7 minutes to get to get there.

On Friday I had a doctor’s appointment downtown, and it was still my winter vacation, so no need to drive and pay eleven dollars to park! I decided to ride the train down with the hubby because he would go to work directly from the appointment anyway. I knew we would be boarding the train at rush hour, and the geek inside of me was a little excited to see how busy the train was on a week day, at rush hour.

So at ten after eight we left the house, bundled in several layers, and descended into the snowy artic air that is Chicago in January. We made the short trek to the train station just north of our apartment, and almost immediately a train pulled up and we boarded. To my disappointment, I wasn’t squeezing into a train like the images you see of commuter trains in India. We actually boarded a fairly empty train, and even got two seats (score!). So the train rolled along and with each stop more and more people boarded. The guy sitting next to me (not hubby), was drinking his morning joe and continuously hacked up a small portion of his lung. I ignored it at first, but then horrible thoughts of how warm the train was, and how tighter and tighter the people were packing in, and I suddenly was convinced I was catching some form of bird flu from the seemingly innocent guy next to me drinking his joe. Belmont! Yessss!!! Only time in my life I was actually happy to switch to the red line.

As red line run 458 pulled up, I couldn’t help but notice that train looked remarkably similar to an image I had seen before… ahhh, the India commuter train! Finally, my image of Chicago rush hour on the train had arrived. We pushed ourselves onto the train car and gingerly grasped something to hang onto. I cleared the image of Bird Flu Man from my head and decided to enjoy this rare workday treat- observing the people of the CTA. This is what I observed:

·      Some people check stocks and social media on their way into work

·      Some people catch up on zzz’s on their way to work… standing up

·      Some people pick their boogers and eat the treasure

·      Some people read books. Really HUGE books. Get a Kindle for your commute!

·      Some people absolutely cannot stand still. And this guy wasn’t a toddler or small child!

·      Some people wear really nice clothes and do not bathe.

And most importantly, I observed that I actually like my short drive (all observations took about 15 minutes to obtain) to school. And I appreciate the fact I do not have to rely on the CTA each and every day. Go take a short morning ride, it’s well worth the observations!